While we usually enjoy everyone we run with, sometimes you come across that “one” runner that just seems a little (or more) annoying.
We’ve compiled our top types of the most annoying types of runners.
How many have you run with?
Any other types of runners that you find hard to run with? Let us know in the comments!
The “Has Every Injury” runner
You know this runner is close by the strong smell of Ben-Gay that precedes them and then by the obvious tell-tale sign of yards and yards of neon colored kinesio tape on every single limb. They’ll spend the entire run categorizing each and every running injury they current have in painful detail.
The “My GPS is Better Than Yours” runner
Also known as Techie runner, this runner has the latest running gadget straight from the latest edition of Runners World. Somehow their GPS/heart rate monitor/espresso maker/miniature nuclear fusion plant doesn’t make them any faster.
The “My Run Was 0.001 miles longer/faster/better Than Yours” runner
Doesn’t matter how far or fast your last run was, somehow, this runner ran that much further or faster… everytime. Just ran a marathon? This runner will let you know how they took a wrong turn on the course and ran an extra 0.2 miles but still managed to PR.
The “Runs One Step In Front” runner
A.k.a. “The Rabbit”. This runner always, always, always needs to be just one step ahead of you and the rest of the group. Have fun picking the pace up just a little and see how they work to stay in front and then slowing up a little. Let them get a little ahead and then make that quick turn down a side street and see how long it takes for them to catch up and resume the lead.
The “Runs Too Close” runner
This runner has no qualms with invading personal space (or getting elbowed by “accident”). Maybe they just have separation or anxiety issues. Who knows? But they always seem to run either right on your shoulder (literally), or just behind you and manage to step on your heel multiple times.
The “Can’t Run A Constant Pace” runner
The “Can’t Run a Constant Pace” runner is that runner that either is running too fast or running too slow and just can’t seem to decide what their running pace should be. Often seen running away from the group at the start of the run or the race, the “Can’t Run a Constant Pace” runner is soon found walking at the side of the road until they recover just enough to sprint back to the front, if only for another quarter-mile.
The “I Should Have Been A Camel” runner
This runner comes prepared to run through any drought and famine that might accord during this weekend’s 5k fun run. Fuel belt fully loaded with gels, salt tabs, ibuprofen and a 20 gallon Camelbak. This runner carries enough food and water to supply all the other runners (just don’t expect they to share…)
The “You SHALL NOT PASS!” runner
One of the most frustrating categories of annoying runners. Usually this is a male runner with low self-esteem that keeps pushing the pace as a female runner creeps up on them to pass them. With their fragile male ego on their sleeve, they are often heard gasping and grunting to keep the faster pace of a runner trying to pass them. Wait til the start of a slight incline and then push your running pace just a little to completely break them and deflate their ego.
The “Would You Please SHUT UP” runner
The runner that thinks that running is their personal therapy time and spends the ENTIRE run talking about all their personal problems and relationship issues again, and again, and again… Doesn’t matter if you have headphones on and the music blaring, they will talk over it.
The “Fashionista” Runner
Color-coordinated and brand-matching, this runner acts (and runs) like they are on the walkway of a Parisian fashion show rather than a group run.
If its a race, they even manage to color-coordinate the bib number color.
The “I’m so out of shape” runner
You know this type. Sleek, lean and fast and yet, somehow always complaining about how “out of shape” they are because they haven’t had time to train (insert excuse here) as they pull away from the group up the first hill without breaking a sweat or even breathing hard.
The “Always Running Late” runner
Then it’s guaranteed that this runner shows 15 minutes late and takes their time getting ready. Somehow they are the ones that need more time to warm up, stretch, retie their shoes, fill up their water bottle and then have to run back to the car to get something they forgot which they absolutely, positively CAN NOT run without. Always tell this runner that the group run starts 30 minutes before it actually will and you might (maybe) start the run on time.
The “Never Pays For After-Run Coffee/Food” runner
This runner always seems to be running out of cash when it comes time for the check or has managed to forget their wallet for 38 consecutive weekend group runs. They often owe the rest of the running group somewhere near the national debt of Bolivia with all the money they “borrow” each weekend.
Looking for some more running humor? Check out this article: Things non-runners say that drive runners crazy