Running Humor
We all have those non-running friends, family members or co-workers that seem to have the knack of saying the most annoying statements to us about running. Sometimes you have to just roll your eyes at their attempt at “running humor.”
How many of these have you heard?
10. “Doesn’t running ruin your knees?”
Nope. If fact my knees have never felt better! Sitting on the couch all day is going to ruin your knees…
9. “Don’t people die running?”
Listen, I’m going to tell you a little secret…. everybody dies…. EVERYbody. I just want to make sure I look good when I do.
Oh, and if it does happen while I’m running, please, please, please hit the Pause button on my Garmin. I’d hate to have a horrible time on my last run.
8. “Do you need a ride?”
Uhhh…. no. I’m doing fine here on my own two feet. If I look that bad running, why don’t you just call 911 and have them take me to the hospital?
7. “Aren’t you too old/heavy/short/tall/thin to run?”
Is there really supposed to only be one type of runner? Did I miss that memo?
The best thing about running is that anyone can do it regardless of age, sex, body type and shape.
6. “Oh, can you stop at the store and pick up a few things?”
Huh? Sure, let me just run the last 4 miles home with the gallon of milk balanced on my head.
But I draw the line at picking up the dry-cleaning…
5. “Run, Forrest, Run!”
I usually hear this quote while on my Saturday morning run. It’s usually from someone in the passenger seat of a beat-up pick up truck right after they have thrown their empty bag of McDonalds out the window.
4. “You run every day?”
Not every day,
Just on days after I have to speak with you, for my sanity (and your safety). Apparently you can’t plead out on assault and battery just because someone said something annoying to you.
3. “I ran in high school. I bet I could do that race if I ran for a couple weeks…”
Seriously? That was 30+ years ago and 50 pounds ago.
The fastest I’ve seen you move is when Jim brought in Krispy Cream donuts and left them in the break room last month and you were out of breathe for an hour.
2. “Did you win?”
Why do I find this question so annoying?
I keep hoping I can come up with a witty response like “I was in the lead up to the last mile, but I ran into a burning building to save a family of 4, so I finished second by 5 seconds…”
1. “How far was your marathon?”
Why does it seem that I hear this question from the same co-worker every time after I run a marathon?
Should I be shocked every time someone doesn’t know what the distance is for a marathon? Do I need to show them my “26.2” sticker in my car window? Should I just get a blinking light above my desk that flashes “TWENTY SIX POINT TWO”?
What has been your most annoying comment or question a non-runner has said to you?
Leave it in the comment section below
You know what’s more annoying that listening to non-runners giving you advice on how to train for your next race?
Getting a running injury.
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Otherwise, you may not be able to go out for that lunchtime run because your hurt and will be stuck listening to those non-runners…
Looking for more running humor? Check out our Top Types of Annoying Runners article.
Check out this Youtube video of “Annoying Things Non-Runners Say”
You said you ran a half marathon. So, you only did one half of it?
– yeah, and I had only half the fun and half a medal for half the price. Duh…
I bet that 10k was so easy after your marathon!